A Different Path

Many of us that follow Jesus, know that we’re on a different path. That’s what we signed up for. We gave away the rights to our life when we surrendered everything to the Lord. We said, “Not my will but your will be done.” Maybe we proclaimed it “from the rooftops” with zeal in our hearts. But did we mean it? Do we mean it today when it plays out differently than we think? There was a zealous man in Jesus’ day that reminds me of many of us that say “we’ll follow the Lord no matter what” but when God asks us to give up something that we love, we fall away from that stance.

Mark 10:17-21 “As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before Him. ’Good teacher,’ he asked, ‘what must I do to inherit eternal life?’ ‘…You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’ ‘Teacher,’ he declared, ‘all these I have kept since I was a boy.’ Jesus looked at him and loved him. ‘One thing you lack,’ he said. ‘Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’ At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.”

Three things I notice here. 1. The man ran up to Jesus and fell on his knees before him. This is not how you greet people. This man had absolute respect for Jesus and desperation to honor Him. He put himself in this position of obedience before Jesus, as to say, “Help me, guide me, show me the way and I’ll do whatever you say.”

2. The passage says that Jesus “looked at Him and loved him.” What a beautiful sentence in the Bible. Jesus saw this man’s heart, he seemed to want to please God and he recognized Jesus had the truth. Jesus loved Him. What do you do when you love someone? You give them the truth. Any loving parent, with an eager, good-hearted child, would give them the truth to their questions to help direct them onto the right path.

3. Jesus recognizes what it is that this man needs to give up in order to fully follow the Lord. For him, Jesus asks him to give up his wealth. Jesus tells him to sell everything he has, give to the poor and invites him to follow Jesus. For some of us Jesus might pinpoint something else we need to give up, fame, dreams, selfishness, sexual gratification, alcohol, greed, property, pride, etc. Jesus wasn’t asking him to give up this most important thing (his wealth) for nothing in return. Some have noted that Jesus extended to him the invitation to be the, “13th disciple.” We would have known this man’s name, he would have preached the gospel to the ends of the earth, he would have seen miracles, signs, and wonders, people set free from addictions, transformed, filled with love, hope and he would have lived a truly amazing life. He would have been one of the closest people to Jesus on earth, part of Jesus’s inner circle, a friend, and the 13th disciple. But he turned it all down when he heard the price he had to pay.

He had to give up his wealth. It may have been "family money" he inherited, or it could have been money he worked very hard to attain. Either way, it was probably a big part of his lifestyle and the implications of giving it all up were big. But the implications of not were bigger. When I was younger, my heart wanted to explode with love for Jesus. I knew others who felt the same. I told God I would go anywhere He asked me to go. At that point, I had been through persecution as a missionary kid in India.

My parents were almost thrown in prison, we had to sneak out of the country, leave everything we knew and everyone we loved behind. So when I said to the Lord I would “Go anywhere” and “Do anything” I pictured possible missions/persecution. I was like the man who ran up to Jesus, fell on my knees and in all sincerity wanted to know what he’d like me to do. It’s like Jesus “looked at me and loved me.” But He pinpointed the thing I didn’t want to give up which was travel/dreams/freedom. And he said, “There’s one thing you lack, give up your freedom, your travel, your dreams, stay in a bedroom and shine for me.” Would I walk away sad, like the rich man? Or would I say “Okay, anything for you because I know what you hold has more value than the things I value.”

When I was healthy, it was somewhat easy to proclaim Jesus. I did picture it being difficult to move to a country full of poverty to preach Christ to lost souls. And I pictured it being difficult if I moved to a highly persecuted country, where the Christian church was underground. But what I didn’t picture, and is also extremely difficult, is shining Christ’s light through chronic illness.

When my head feels like it’s going to explode from pain, and I want to throw up as my body trembles with weakness; am I mean and impatient with those I live with? How do I speak to the doctors and nurses that I interact with? Am I bitter or do I show them kindness?

I am around so many chronically ill people, people I never would have met. How can I be the hands and feet of Jesus to them? I am in a world of darkness and suffering. A world that needs light and love. Not every disabled, sick person will be healed on earth, but they need to know Jesus is real. I’ve noticed God has also used my journey to encourage fellow believers. They may not have illness, but they have struggle, heartbreak and disappointment. God has used me to encourage them that He is worth following, no matter what. My suffering seems to be a visual of what many are going through internally. Will we use our hurt to take us closer to Him or farther away?

When I woke up this morning, the sides of my head felt like they were being squeezed in, and searing pain was across my forehead, and when I tried to move my head, sharp nerve pain hugged my neck. “Good morning” my body said, “Welcome to your day.” It’s been 7 hours, and I haven’t left my dark bedroom or my bed because of the migraine. At one point, tears filled my eyes, and I asked the Lord, “Will this be my whole life? How long will my body do this?” I questioned, what is the purpose of me being sick? I don’t think God made me sick. But I know He could heal me instantly and He hasn’t. I’m not mad at Him for that but I know if He doesn’t then there must be a bigger purpose. So then I wonder what the purpose is. What does my little life do? And it made me think about how I told Him I would go anywhere for him.

Did I mean here? Did I mean hurting, in my bedroom? I meant anywhere! That includes this. So those of us who said we’d “follow Jesus no matter what” and now our lives turned out differently than we thought, are we still on fire for Him? We choose today if our commitment is true. The harder our lives are, the darker they look, the greater capacity we have to shine Christ’s light in the dark. Today, after many hours in the dark, my migraine started getting worse. Since medicine, quiet, and dark weren’t working, I knew I needed worship. So, I turned the worship music on quietly. One by one, my parents each prayed for me. Each time, it brought some comfort, and I went from crying to feeling peace. I started worshipping the Lord with my spirit. I surrendered my weary body and told the Lord “You can have my body as a sacrifice of praise.”

Then the Holy Spirit touched my spirit, peace filled my heart. And I felt the Holy Spirit fill my mind with inspiration to write this article. I knew I’d have to, turn the blue light filter on my phone, so the light wouldn’t hurt my head and then I’d have to start audibly voice texting it. As I did this, the migraine started to go away. It’s a strange thing. So many of my writings have been written; in the dark, during a migraine, when I felt too weak to move. But the power of God moved my spirit to such inspiration that I knew that through Him I could do it.

It reminds me of that scripture where Paul says he will boast about his weaknesses because it is the power of God. And so, I will boast about my weaknesses because it is in my weakness that these articles are written through me.

After the rich young man walked away from Jesus, sad, turning down Jesus’s invitation, Peter said: “We have left everything to follow you!” “Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.” Mark 10:29-30

A few interesting things here. Peter mentions they left everything to follow Jesus; they gave up their trades, homes, families, plans, to follow this man they believed had, “The words of eternal life.” John 6:68 Jesus promises that anyone who has given up family, field, or home, to follow Him, will be given a hundred times those things in this life, as well as persecution. Anyone who has lost a family member because of their faith in Christ, knows how painful that is. But God will bring people along your path, brothers and sisters, a hundred times as many family members in Christ.

The reason you may have lost your family members (Jesus) will be the thing that unites you to the family of Christ. Oh, what a sweet bond it is. The disciples weren’t known for being landowners and having a “hundred” homes and fields. So, this seems to be spiritual homes and fields Jesus must have been speaking about.

In Hebrews it speaks of believers having their property confiscated. Hebrews 10:34 “You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions.” If you give up your home, for Christ, you will find a hundred spiritual homes among believers who take you into their homes and hearts. Fields seems to be speaking of fields of souls. “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few, ask the Lord of the harvest to send workers out unto his harvest field.” Luke 10:2

So, when Jesus says anyone who gives up a “field” for me what’s the trade? The disciples might have given up a plot of land, providing some comfort for them/their families. But what was the trade?  Access to a hundred fields of souls as they shared the gospel and saw thousands of brothers and sisters find the Lord. Souls that would join them in Heaven for all of eternity. What joy!

The rich man that walked away from Jesus missed out on so much. He was able to keep his property, but he lost out on the spiritual journey they would all walk.

Those spiritual blessings, the “hundred fields, homes, and family members” Jesus promised in this life, would also come with “persecution.”  He didn’t sugar coat it. But in the life to come, eternal life. So in this life I may have lost my health, my freedom, my travel, my independence. But I have gained so much more by following Jesus. In the midst of hours, alone, in the dark, with migraines, I have a lot of time with the Lord, a lot of time to pray, reflect, and think about the deeper things.  I have gotten to know His kindness better, I have laughed with Him cried with Him, and learned His voice much better.

Where I have lost freedom to travel, I have gained a platform into people’s hearts. A platform to speak into the lives of the suffering and be a voice of comfort. I have been given some of those “fields of souls.” Where I have lost the ability to work, pursue my career, my dreams, and purchase my own home, the Lord has given me a hundred homes in the hearts of many believes. You all have given me so much courage, love, and comfort. And so, what Jesus said is true. Whatever we have given up following Him, He restores in spiritual gifts one hundred-fold.

He is always worth the choice. The more I get to know Him, the more I love Him. I never think I can say that and mean it ore. Yet each year that goes by I mean that phrase even deeper because He really is that good, He is worth following, He has worth giving up everything for. I know I’d still be sick and disabled even if I chose not to follow Him. But I get to choose if I become bitter, angry and give up. I choose if I persevere and use this journey for His glory rather than my self-pity. And I want to choose Him every day, every time. He is worth it.