Though I walk through the valley

We’ve all related to this at one point in our lives. It’s often a recurring theme when we’re going through hardship. Do we fear evil? Yes. Does this passage remind us we don’t have to? Yes. We have the King of the Universe walking with us through it all.

Most of us have heard the infamous poem written by King David in Psalm 23. It reads, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

This last week has been one of those weeks for me. My body has felt ripped to shreds, broken, and at the end of itself with pain. But thanks to God and His grace answering all your prayers, I’m still here to fight another day.

As most of you know, I’ve been chronically ill since a car accident I was in 12 years ago. I’ve since found out I have 6+ diagnosis. The herniated discs in my spine didn’t seem to be a huge problem (except I knew they caused pain). It was only the last 6 months the pain became so intense I started hunching over when I walked. I also started limping. I couldn’t lay down without being in excruciating pain.

I decided to do the laminectomy microdiscectomy surgery. This is where they remove the disc that is pushing on the nerves and causing this horrendous pain. It’s a standard procedure. But I am not a “standard patient” with my health. The surgery went well. They sent me home that same day, but the pain was higher than I anticipated.

The next day, I blacked out/fell down. I called for my mom, and she ran over and helped catch me, so I didn’t injure myself. My blood pressure was extremely low. 50/30. Normal is 120/75. Usually when it drops as low as 80s/50s they tell you to go to the hospital. I called my surgeon’s office, and they told me to call 911. The ambulance showed up. 2 EMTs had me stand up as they took my blood pressure, and I once again became woozy and almost passed out while my blood pressure dropped to shallow readings. They hauled me off on a gurney into the ambulance. I prayed silently the whole ambulance ride, “Help me.” “Give me grace.” “Show the doctors what to do.”

Many of you saw my update and started praying me through. Those prayers and comments touched my heart. The body of Christ is such a living, breathing thing in the spirit realm. “You lead me beside still waters. You restore my soul.” Psalm 23 Those next verses were true for me. God used the Body of Christ, your love, to help restore my soul.

The doctors put me on medicine that stabilized my blood pressure and sent me home. The next morning it happened again. My blood pressure dropped dangerously low. We called the surgeons office. This time, they prescribed me medicine, so I didn’t have to go back to the ER. I’ve been on that medicine for a week as it stabilized. I felt broken…I didn’t feel up to chatting.

That’s when my friend Sascha, texted me this simple, but true text. “God’s strength is made perfect in weakness.” That’s all she said. I thanked her for this. And my heart swelled with tears. As I pushed my walker and winced in pain, I would repeat this verse “His power is made perfect in weakness.” When I’d put icepacks under my back and lay in the dark I’d say, “His power is made perfect in weakness.” That verse is one of my favorite verses. And God knew it’s exactly what I needed to be reminded of. My body is not strong. Nor am I.

But I know when I break there is room for someone far greater to carry me through. His name is Jesus. He is who has kept me alive the last 12 years when I should have died (multiple times). It hasn’t been an easy road. But I’d sign up to do it, if watching my journey helped someone find Christ.

Some have told me God has used my story to bring them back to Christ. Isn’t that what life’s about? Spreading Christ’s light, hope, and love?! It brings me comfort and purpose in my suffering, when God allows me to hear those testimonies.

When I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I have nothing to fear. Why? Does David say in Psalm 23 it’s cause everything will turn out? No. But He has nothing to fear because God is with Him.

The Creator of the Heavens and the Sea is walking with me. He’s walking with you. He won’t leave us alone. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4